Why?

Haven't written much lately.
Could be something to do with having been on holiday.
Could be something to do with returning to the necessity of consigning mother-in-law to a care home for those with dementia.
Could be something to do with having to take on her dog.
Could be something to do with accompanying wife to care home and being assaulted for an hour with a barrage of accusation and recrimination. (How does she cope with this every time she visits?)
Could be something to do with not having anything to say any more.
Could be something to do with being bored of the whole church / alternative / simple / emergent / etc. thing. It all requires too much effort.
What good has a lifetime of church attendance done mother-in-law? No-one from the church she used to attend faithfully has bothered to ask after her, let alone visit her.
When the mind goes, so the personality changes. So what constitutes the person? What lives on after death? The person we were or the person we become as our brain deteriorates? What, after all, actually matters?
I begin to realise that if anyone comments on this it is very unlikely they will have understood what I'm trying to say. Dear commenter, I'm not actually trying to say anything, just feeling guilty for not having written anything for a while.